Shingeki no Debate
by TremblingHands
Summary: "Well, haha, that was hardly a debate..."


"Male."

"Female."

"Male!"

"Male."

"Yes, Reiner. Male!"

"Female! Ask Armin."

"Leave me outta this."

"Shouldn't we just see if Ymir is attracted to them?"

"Shut up, Connie"

"Male."

"Yes! Thank you. Ha! In your face, Jaeger!"

"Female, dammit, I'm the one who's stuck under her nose all day. Don't you think –of all people- I'd know?"

"I say… shemale."

"Shut up, Connie!" They shouted in unison. They had all been arguing ever since the others had joined the Corps. That was six days ago already however none of them had gotten close enough for long enough to say for certain. That is, everyone but Eren.

"No woman in their right mind would be as in… whatever the hell they're in with those monsters."

"No _human_ in their right mind would be…"

"Pixis-shirei…"

"…nevermind. Look, all I'm saying is-"

"Yeah, Jean, what are you saying?"

"Tsche, why don't you shut the hell up and let me finish, Jaeger!?"

He listened to those idiots arguing amongst themselves for the fifth night in a row now. For some reason it was a topic of hot debate amongst the newbies. Male, female, what did it really matter anyway? A soldier was determined by their determination and all those pretty words Erwin used when scavenging for sympathy funds for the Corps, right? Maybe he should go and rattle them up a bit, get their minds back on track. Levi smirked to himself as he reached for the door knob, then stopped when he heard his name.

"Levi-heichou also can't seem to stand them either. All you hear him say about them is 'Shitty this' and 'Shitty that' and 'stop using those fucking glasses as beakers dammit'."

Was that all they had learned these past few days? He was so sure he'd made it blatantly clear that she was an example of behaviour that was completely unacceptable in the Corps, that her lack of assertiveness to the hygiene of her environment was punishable by… well, he would think of something. None of the newbies had yet dared to leave their filth lying around, he supposed that Jaeger brat wasn't completely good for nothing.

"That isn't true. Heichou respects Hanji bun-taichou, he just… sees her incapacity for general hygiene as a personal challenge."

"Well you don't see him treating that Ral woman the same way, I mean, what kind of woman actually _needs_ to be reminded to brush her hair and wipe the drool from her face and-"

He'd heard enough. These brats were taking it too far. There were no lessons to be learned in figuring out their superior's gender. These kids were supposed to bring glory to humanity or some shit… and he got a kick outt've Eren's reaction to his presence. He turned the door knob and stepped inside.

* * *

 ** _Later that night…_**

"Armin, why didn't you back me up earlier today?"

"Huh?"

"When Horse-face went on about Hanji bun-taichou… in fact, you were rather quiet throughout the whole debate."

"Well, haha, that was hardly a debate…"

"Now that I think about it… you've never really participated when the conversation swerves in that direction. What's up with that, everything alright?"

"Well… you see. I –I sympathise with Hanji bun-taichou."

Armin looked like he was about to tear up, so Eren sat down next to him, a little nervous and a lot confused.

"What do you mean, 'you sympathise'?"

Armin bit his lip and shut his eyes tight before turning to Eren and, opening his eyes -bright and blue, gushed, "When I first joined the Survey Corps, for the first five days, Sasha and Ymir thought I was a g-girl. Up to this day when I'm not close enough for her to smell me, Sasha mistakes me for Krista. I don't want to be a part of such scandalous conversation, I know first-hand what it feels like."

There was a moment of silence as Eren guiltily thought of the few times _he'd_ mistaken Armin for Krista. He'd long since learned to tell them apart though, since their trainee days, Krista was seldom without Ymir, that didn't seem to have changed. All he could think of to say though, was, "Oh."

* * *

 ** _The next day…_**

"Male!"

"Female!"

"No way in hell, male!"

"Yes way, I saw her and Rene-san coming from the lavatory before training!"

"Oh please, Connie, how daft could you be? The stables are behind the lavatory, they were obviously coming from there, and besides, I saw _him_ checking out Rico from the Garrison earlier with Mike bun-taichou."

 _Oh great, they were at it again today_ , Eren thought with mild annoyance. He'd decided to not let himself get involved with their stupid arguments anymore, now that he knew how Armin felt. However, he liked Rico, he'd met her back in Trost and, while she'd had zero faith in him, she had the utmost faith in her captain and comrades, something he was learning to admire and appreciate. Curiosity got the better of him and he wanted to find out who they were talking about since it clearly wasn't Hanji, who had been away since early that morning.

"…and I'm telling you it's not normal for a man to have such clean clothes and smell so fre-"

"Heichou."

"Dammit!"

"Jean, Connie. Who could you guys possibly be arguing about now?"

Two pairs of wild eyes turned on him, hungry for support and agreement.

"Nanaba."

Shit, he'd had a feeling. He should've just kept on walking… but, he knew the truth. He wouldn't give Jean the satisfaction. "Oh." he said, and continued on his way.


End file.
